I’ve been with a lot of girls, well, girl-friends.
I don’t know why but whenever the school year starts, I just see myself in a group of girly girls, those who really loves to dress up, make up or really anything “for girls”.
It really makes me wonder why they befriended me because in the first place, I’m not like them. I love my messy hair and I don’t care. I don’t like lipsticks or make ups; I don’t think I need them (probably in special events but still nah). Maybe every group needs a joker, yah, that’s all I can think of.
I’ll just see myself with a bunch of girls who’s fixing themselves like every 5 minutes (well that’s exaggerated) and every break time. Me? I’ll just fix my hair in a pony then watch them while waiting.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I actually admire them the way they take care of themselves, I love watching them, and I love them.
I’ve been through groups, I’m kinda circle hopper coz I don’t want to be engaged with only one group of friends and not care about the rest of the class. I want to know everyone! Haha!
From school to workplace, there surely is one. I won’t enumerate them here but they know who they are. ❤️
Each of them was dear to me but it seems there’s just something missing…. it’s the click factor of friendship. You know when you meet someone just today yet you feel like you’ve known each other for years? Like there’s something gluing you together you don’t even know what it is? Yah, that’s it.
It’s a joy for me seeing them together. I do sometimes wish to meet with them but not to be a “member” anymore. As it was said, “maybe we’re not just for each other.”
So now, who are my friends? I find myself most comfortable with groups of both guys and girls. Maybe just because it’s such a complement. We can have girl talks here and while there are cool yet dramatic guys over there as well. *oops, sorry! lol.
You won’t be reading about pros and cons of whatever mix of groups. I just want to share some things I observe that keeps us together:
Believe it or not, it’s good to be friends with even the very opposite of who you are. You don’t need a clone of yourself, you have to find someone who complements with you. You may share lots of things in common but surely there are lots of differences as well.
He’s introvert, I’m extrovert.
She’s too girly, I’m not.
Kilay (eyebrows) is life for her, not for me.
He so dramatic, I’m kinda tough.
Note: we sometimes switch places lol
You don’t have to push away the people who doesn’t look like you or with the same aura as yours. Kinda hard to explain but it’s about loving and nurturing you commonness and respecting your differences. That’s what makes your friendship exciting and will grow you as a person.
Someone whom you can be totally comfortable talking about anything without the fear of being judged. Someone whom you can talk with from how annoyed you are when you realized your socks are different to what you want to do in life after ten years. Talk about heartbreaks, journeys, laughter, great dreams, the strangest of things–anything.
And also can be someone who can sit beside you saying nothing, yet you feel so calm and quiet inside. Like it’s your souls’ turn to speak with each other, with silence, heartbeats and sighs as their language. Or walk with you down the road quietly but it’s like you’re sharing a great moment of your lives.
Someone who don’t talk on people’s backs!
Someone whom you can tell the deepest of your secrets and you’re confident they won’t use it against you. Someone who will know the stories of your scars but won’t cut it out again thus, making it deeper.
Someone who, after listening, can say, “That WAS you, but that IS NOT you anymore.” 💕
It’s hard to find these gems but they’re for keeps.
Someone who can tell you the things you NEED to hear instead of what you WANT to hear. Someone who can correct you gracefully but can be brutally honest with you and slap you with the truth when you need to–not in public though.
Will cover you from others but corrects you when there’s just the two of you. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. As an iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens another.
It’s as equally important as comfort. This is a big yes if you want a healthy friendship. Girls are still girls, guys are still guys. Know your limits, no need to elaborate on this. 😊
BONUS: (surely the best!) if this one exists, you can be assured about the rest.
❤️ SOMEONE WHO LOVES GOD MORE THAN YOU.
Because a God-centered relationship is the best of all! Learn to love God above all else then you can learn to love “all else” better. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength–this is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Some people, regardless of age, struggle to find friends like these. It may seem hard for some to believe that such people exists, but they do. I am blessed to have numbers of them, and I treasure each. 💕
It’s not that the girl friends I’ve mentioned earlier doesn’t have these traits, they do, and I love them so.
There still are lots of things to be added here for list’s sake. I’m done with the girl-friend thingy or the one-of-the-boys or whatever. In the end, it doesn’t matter if your friends with guys or girls or both, because friendship is more like finding your soul’s mates.
If it’s hard for you to find such a friend, then be one! Surely you’ll be a blessing and will eventually attract another soul complementing yours. When you have found them, treasure them!
I thank God He has surrounded me with people who brings out the best in me, as we do for each other. To grow and mature together! My gems worth keeping. ❤️